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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

How to Get Published and Simultaneously Not Make Any Money

Posted by Tariq al Haydar




by Tariq al Hayder

What you see up there is the cover of "Helat al Abeed," my debut novel. They'll add my name and some text on the back cover, but that's essentially it. I hate to read my own work, so it was excruciating to go back and re-read the thing. Hopefully, it won't be as painful for readers.

Initially, only 2000 copies will be printed. If they sell all 2000 copies, MAYBE I could potentially get paid.

The irony is... my writing is actually better in English. The way I see it, if I managed to get published in Arabic, then I have the potential to get published in English. So if Moose or Hursty or someone is secretly a publisher, you best give me a contract to translate "Hellat al Abeed."

I mean, in 2008/09, with the War on Terror still ongoing, one small advantage I have is that people are actually interested in the Middle East. I believe "Hellat al Abeed" gives people the opportunity to see the Saudi Arabia I live in. I wonder if people would actually like to see it.

45 comments:

Moose said...

I'm sorry Tariq, I'm not the secret publisher you're looking for. But may you give us a bit more background on the book? What is it about?

Tariq al Hayder said...

It's essentially about the friendship between a Saudi college student who lost his mother in a car accident and a Black guy from Mauritania. SLAM, Finnegans Wake, Nirvana, Richard Simmons, Jason Terry, Andre the Giant and the Wu-Tang Clan are mentioned.

TADOne said...

This is.....the best ish yet. Let us know how it is received. You know i'm definitely interested.

As for publishing, I would suggest hollering at one of the Slam fam like Ryan, Lang, etc. and see what they can tell you. The internets are a wonderful thing.

Tariq al Hayder said...

TAD:

I asked Ryan and he said he didn't know anyting about that except that if you want to write one of the 12 best-selling books about LeBron James, then I should write about LeBron James.

AR said...

I assume contacting some well know publishers might help.Having already been published would probably be good leverage(I'm only assuming here)

Failing that,I have a working printer and a shitload of paper.

Eboy said...

I really like the cover pic! And yeah, we've got to be able to come up with someting to help with the publishing.

Tariq al Hayder said...

Thanks Eboy!

TADOne said...

Ok Tariq, the question I have is where can you buy one of the 2000 copies printed?

Obviously I can't read Arabic, but I have a friend who does.

Link?

Tariq al Hayder said...

TAD:

You can't buy it just yet. TI just sent the final version to my publisher. Not sure when exactly it will be on the market, but it shouldn't be too long.

I'm pretty sure you'll be able to buy it online. I'll ask my publisher and get back to you!

TADOne said...

Good enough...just keep me in the loop. You are too talented not to get the attention of someone eventually.

BTW SKO Fam, please respond to my email and let me know what you think. Thanks f*ckers! (and Cheryl!)

AR said...

No email,TAD.

TADOne said...

Damn...my bad. I guess it would help if I hit "reply to all". Stupid me.

Ok, check now....

ASPOV said...

Excellent, Tariq! You did it, my Brotha. Congrats. Looks like 2009 will bring much good fortune your way. I am quite interested in your culture and country and wouldn't mind a "free" copy (money's tight, dude)! What's with the shoe thing, by the way. That's a serious insult, right? Does it matter that it didn't hit its target? (some of this is tongue in cheek, some not.)

TADOne said...

Bush moves pretty good for his old age, huh? Too bad.....

BETCATS said...

i got a printer and some cardbord. I can make books. But you deserve better

Tariq al Hayder said...

TAD:

You should eventually be able to buy it at www.neelwafurat.com

Buy at least 513 copies, please.

TADOne said...

Tariq, I think i'm going to need the google translator for that site. I'd probably end up buying 200 copies Cooking With Saddam Hussein or something.

Tariq al Hayder said...

Cheryl:

Thanks, I hope 2009 ends up to be as good as you say.

Regarding the whole shoe thing... I mean, obviously it was intended as an insult, but I think non-Arabs believe it's much more intricate than it actually is... like there's some kind of detailed process where if you throw a shoe a certain way it means one thing and if you throw it a different way it means something different. Not really. It's really not that different from that dude throwing a beer at Ron Artest!

Although I guess if you're going to throw something, a shoe has some added oomph to it!

Tariq al Hayder said...

TAD:

On the upper right hand corner you have the option to view the "English Website"

TADOne said...

Ah, so it does.

Eboy said...

A shoe is a shoe is a shoe.

B. Long said...

Congrats Tariq. Let everybody know when an english version comes out. Unfortunately, they don't allow people who speak arabic to live in Louisiana. Either that, or they're smarter than us and just chose not tooo.

B. Long said...

Extra O for emphasis.

Tariq al Hayder said...

B.Long:

My parents lived in Louisville, Kentucky for a few years in the eighties. I guess Louisiana and Kentucky are pretty much interchangeable, no?

B. Long said...

Maybe, I've only driven through Kentucky for like 15 mins. in my lifetime so I'm no expert on it. But Louisiana is pretty much the homestate of racism. I'm not just talking about white people being ignorant, either. And this is coming from someone who grew up in West Texas, mind you.

Eboy said...

Worldwide Racism.....HELL YEAH!!!

Justin Walsh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Justin Walsh said...

Tariq, I'll buy the book as long as you keep me up to date on exactly where I can buy it and how much it is! I don't read speak or understand arabic but It'd be cool to say I have a published work of a SKO writer. And if it ever gets translated into english, I'll be sure to pick up that copy too. You guys should check out the BALLISLIFE: Volume 1: THE PROJECT DVD (full length) we have out. That's 10 bucks, it's legit, just go to BALLISLIFE.COM to pick it up and I swear I usually never shamelessly promote. But on the bright side I'm buying your book whenever you let me know when it comes out!

Hursty said...

Eh man, I'll buy your book when it comes out in English (I'm sure it will).
I dont know any publishers lol, but my dad works at The Daily Telegraph as a newspaper editor here in Sydney. Maybe go to www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/
I know you were mostly joking here, but it might help. Go to contacts or something, I dunno...

Anton said...

yo who's gonna be on the cover of the next SLAM?

Hursty said...

Um. Hi Anton! I'd like to see Chauncey or the Mavericks. Actually, scratch that. Go Rockets!

Hursty said...

You guys should really check out hibachi.

Tariq al Hayder said...

Justin Walsh:

I really appreciate that! Thanks.

TADOne said...

I love how Justin self-promotes while stating he never, ever self-promotes. Genius.

Eboy said...

After a day to think about it........

No, I will not BUY a copy of Tariq's book....I fully expect a signed, dedicated copy mailed to me from the author.

Along with that, I wholly expect an autographed 8 x 10 of said author to be with it so that I can frame it , put it with the book on my mantle and along with that, I'd also like to see a gift card to Chipotle enclosed, a place where I would tout this fantastic book, trying to wrangle new readers, thus, covering the self-promotion aspect Tariq is missing in our country not being here in the US.

This would allow me free access to thousands of potential book buyers, therefore making my claims for my proposed wares solidly pertinent and put's Tariq in the position to benefit financially from my offer. Thank you.

TADOne said...

What Eboy said. He also just gave me an idea for lunch.

MMMMMM....Chipotle!

Hursty said...

morons lol.

Tariq al Hayder said...

Eboy:

Actually, there's a good chance that I'll end up coming to get a PhD from the US next fall!

TADOne said...

Tariq on US soil? It will be hard to study watching NBA all the time, no?

Eboy said...

I feel sorry for his potnetial professors. Actually, it would be funny if he had classes taught by Sam Rubenstein, Ryan Jones and Lang Whitaker.

Tariq al Hayder said...

TAD:
Honestly? I don't really get into watching games until the playoffs.

TADOne said...

Typical Lakers fan.

Justin Walsh said...

TADone, it's my genius that drives it! Haha, just kidding, I know I just whored myself out, but it's worth it. I'll send a few of you guys copies free just to prove it!

the baconator said...

Sadly I don't speak/no anyone that knows Arabic. But from the sounds of things, it definitely will be a sleeper hit. Who knows? It might turn out to be the next "Kite Runner"! Let us know if they plan on printing English copies, cuz I'd love to get my hands on one

Moose said...

Holiday ish out on Hibachi 2.0 that's worth checking!