by Tariq al Hayder
What you see up there is the cover of "Helat al Abeed," my debut novel. They'll add my name and some text on the back cover, but that's essentially it. I hate to read my own work, so it was excruciating to go back and re-read the thing. Hopefully, it won't be as painful for readers.
Initially, only 2000 copies will be printed. If they sell all 2000 copies, MAYBE I could potentially get paid.
The irony is... my writing is actually better in English. The way I see it, if I managed to get published in Arabic, then I have the potential to get published in English. So if Moose or Hursty or someone is secretly a publisher, you best give me a contract to translate "Hellat al Abeed."
I mean, in 2008/09, with the War on Terror still ongoing, one small advantage I have is that people are actually interested in the Middle East. I believe "Hellat al Abeed" gives people the opportunity to see the Saudi Arabia I live in. I wonder if people would actually like to see it.
Welcome
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
TADOne, or just plain TAD, is quite possibly the most sane member of this blog group, although, that is not saying much. My sarcasm, or just plain lack of empathy, has been known to reach epic levels of true disdain. Because of this, I have a love of binge drinking and mindless humor. Therapy is good.
Tariq
I am a sensitive, delicate soul. I use sarcasm and cynicism as self-defense mechanisms, douchebag. I do this to protect my faberge-egg-like psyche. If only I could increase my self-confidence, maybe then I could achieve a moment of sincerity. But I can't. So instead I have to be content with writing sublime pieces which delve into the realms of basketball, football (American), football (real), literature, religion, The Legend of Zelda and Reese's Pieces. I may even occassionally shed some insight into the complexities of the human condition. No promises, though.
My turn-ons are non-smokers and world peace. My turn-offs include crystal meth and springtime.
AR
You may (though most likely don't) know me as commenter H to the izzo from SLAMonline.I will no longer answer to that moniker-ever.I'm retiring only to return again,but this won't be no Linkin Park collaboration.My list of lifetime achievements include being the second most foreign member.The youngest member,the least educated member.I roughly rank as the 3rd most white member and am three time Vodka chugging champion in my district.I intend to prove that basketball opinion and having little else better to do are a dangerous mix.I am usually wrong and am possessed by the ghost of Charles Oakley's right fist.
45 comments:
I'm sorry Tariq, I'm not the secret publisher you're looking for. But may you give us a bit more background on the book? What is it about?
It's essentially about the friendship between a Saudi college student who lost his mother in a car accident and a Black guy from Mauritania. SLAM, Finnegans Wake, Nirvana, Richard Simmons, Jason Terry, Andre the Giant and the Wu-Tang Clan are mentioned.
This is.....the best ish yet. Let us know how it is received. You know i'm definitely interested.
As for publishing, I would suggest hollering at one of the Slam fam like Ryan, Lang, etc. and see what they can tell you. The internets are a wonderful thing.
TAD:
I asked Ryan and he said he didn't know anyting about that except that if you want to write one of the 12 best-selling books about LeBron James, then I should write about LeBron James.
I assume contacting some well know publishers might help.Having already been published would probably be good leverage(I'm only assuming here)
Failing that,I have a working printer and a shitload of paper.
I really like the cover pic! And yeah, we've got to be able to come up with someting to help with the publishing.
Thanks Eboy!
Ok Tariq, the question I have is where can you buy one of the 2000 copies printed?
Obviously I can't read Arabic, but I have a friend who does.
Link?
TAD:
You can't buy it just yet. TI just sent the final version to my publisher. Not sure when exactly it will be on the market, but it shouldn't be too long.
I'm pretty sure you'll be able to buy it online. I'll ask my publisher and get back to you!
Good enough...just keep me in the loop. You are too talented not to get the attention of someone eventually.
BTW SKO Fam, please respond to my email and let me know what you think. Thanks f*ckers! (and Cheryl!)
No email,TAD.
Damn...my bad. I guess it would help if I hit "reply to all". Stupid me.
Ok, check now....
Excellent, Tariq! You did it, my Brotha. Congrats. Looks like 2009 will bring much good fortune your way. I am quite interested in your culture and country and wouldn't mind a "free" copy (money's tight, dude)! What's with the shoe thing, by the way. That's a serious insult, right? Does it matter that it didn't hit its target? (some of this is tongue in cheek, some not.)
Bush moves pretty good for his old age, huh? Too bad.....
i got a printer and some cardbord. I can make books. But you deserve better
TAD:
You should eventually be able to buy it at www.neelwafurat.com
Buy at least 513 copies, please.
Tariq, I think i'm going to need the google translator for that site. I'd probably end up buying 200 copies Cooking With Saddam Hussein or something.
Cheryl:
Thanks, I hope 2009 ends up to be as good as you say.
Regarding the whole shoe thing... I mean, obviously it was intended as an insult, but I think non-Arabs believe it's much more intricate than it actually is... like there's some kind of detailed process where if you throw a shoe a certain way it means one thing and if you throw it a different way it means something different. Not really. It's really not that different from that dude throwing a beer at Ron Artest!
Although I guess if you're going to throw something, a shoe has some added oomph to it!
TAD:
On the upper right hand corner you have the option to view the "English Website"
Ah, so it does.
A shoe is a shoe is a shoe.
Congrats Tariq. Let everybody know when an english version comes out. Unfortunately, they don't allow people who speak arabic to live in Louisiana. Either that, or they're smarter than us and just chose not tooo.
Extra O for emphasis.
B.Long:
My parents lived in Louisville, Kentucky for a few years in the eighties. I guess Louisiana and Kentucky are pretty much interchangeable, no?
Maybe, I've only driven through Kentucky for like 15 mins. in my lifetime so I'm no expert on it. But Louisiana is pretty much the homestate of racism. I'm not just talking about white people being ignorant, either. And this is coming from someone who grew up in West Texas, mind you.
Worldwide Racism.....HELL YEAH!!!
Tariq, I'll buy the book as long as you keep me up to date on exactly where I can buy it and how much it is! I don't read speak or understand arabic but It'd be cool to say I have a published work of a SKO writer. And if it ever gets translated into english, I'll be sure to pick up that copy too. You guys should check out the BALLISLIFE: Volume 1: THE PROJECT DVD (full length) we have out. That's 10 bucks, it's legit, just go to BALLISLIFE.COM to pick it up and I swear I usually never shamelessly promote. But on the bright side I'm buying your book whenever you let me know when it comes out!
Eh man, I'll buy your book when it comes out in English (I'm sure it will).
I dont know any publishers lol, but my dad works at The Daily Telegraph as a newspaper editor here in Sydney. Maybe go to www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/
I know you were mostly joking here, but it might help. Go to contacts or something, I dunno...
yo who's gonna be on the cover of the next SLAM?
Um. Hi Anton! I'd like to see Chauncey or the Mavericks. Actually, scratch that. Go Rockets!
You guys should really check out hibachi.
Justin Walsh:
I really appreciate that! Thanks.
I love how Justin self-promotes while stating he never, ever self-promotes. Genius.
After a day to think about it........
No, I will not BUY a copy of Tariq's book....I fully expect a signed, dedicated copy mailed to me from the author.
Along with that, I wholly expect an autographed 8 x 10 of said author to be with it so that I can frame it , put it with the book on my mantle and along with that, I'd also like to see a gift card to Chipotle enclosed, a place where I would tout this fantastic book, trying to wrangle new readers, thus, covering the self-promotion aspect Tariq is missing in our country not being here in the US.
This would allow me free access to thousands of potential book buyers, therefore making my claims for my proposed wares solidly pertinent and put's Tariq in the position to benefit financially from my offer. Thank you.
What Eboy said. He also just gave me an idea for lunch.
MMMMMM....Chipotle!
morons lol.
Eboy:
Actually, there's a good chance that I'll end up coming to get a PhD from the US next fall!
Tariq on US soil? It will be hard to study watching NBA all the time, no?
I feel sorry for his potnetial professors. Actually, it would be funny if he had classes taught by Sam Rubenstein, Ryan Jones and Lang Whitaker.
TAD:
Honestly? I don't really get into watching games until the playoffs.
Typical Lakers fan.
TADone, it's my genius that drives it! Haha, just kidding, I know I just whored myself out, but it's worth it. I'll send a few of you guys copies free just to prove it!
Sadly I don't speak/no anyone that knows Arabic. But from the sounds of things, it definitely will be a sleeper hit. Who knows? It might turn out to be the next "Kite Runner"! Let us know if they plan on printing English copies, cuz I'd love to get my hands on one
Holiday ish out on Hibachi 2.0 that's worth checking!
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