So for the 69th post in Shawn Kemps Offspring's history, what could be more fitting than having the image of the sexual dynamo, the master of all he surveyors and the man with no fear, Eboy, show his face to all who worship.......not to toot my own horn or anything.
On the real though, a big shoutout to the boys (and ladies) over at Wizznut Wizznuttz.com and Motheringhut.com and thanks to my man TADOne for posting first, so that my shot seems that much more palatable.
Enjoy sickos!
Welcome
Over the course of human history, greatness has melded together at one time or another, creating fused unity that can sometimes be history changing. Bonnie & Clyde, The Beatles, Marvin & Tammy, Earth, Wind & Fire, Michael & Scottie, Biggie & Tupac, Shaq & Kobe, Paris & Nicole! Now, the 21st century welcomes the next great movement to rewrite the history books and change the rules. It's us, ya'll. Ain't no stoppin' us now.
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
TADOne, or just plain TAD, is quite possibly the most sane member of this blog group, although, that is not saying much. My sarcasm, or just plain lack of empathy, has been known to reach epic levels of true disdain. Because of this, I have a love of binge drinking and mindless humor. Therapy is good.
Tariq
I am a sensitive, delicate soul. I use sarcasm and cynicism as self-defense mechanisms, douchebag. I do this to protect my faberge-egg-like psyche. If only I could increase my self-confidence, maybe then I could achieve a moment of sincerity. But I can't. So instead I have to be content with writing sublime pieces which delve into the realms of basketball, football (American), football (real), literature, religion, The Legend of Zelda and Reese's Pieces. I may even occassionally shed some insight into the complexities of the human condition. No promises, though.
My turn-ons are non-smokers and world peace. My turn-offs include crystal meth and springtime.
AR
You may (though most likely don't) know me as commenter H to the izzo from SLAMonline.I will no longer answer to that moniker-ever.I'm retiring only to return again,but this won't be no Linkin Park collaboration.My list of lifetime achievements include being the second most foreign member.The youngest member,the least educated member.I roughly rank as the 3rd most white member and am three time Vodka chugging champion in my district.I intend to prove that basketball opinion and having little else better to do are a dangerous mix.I am usually wrong and am possessed by the ghost of Charles Oakley's right fist.
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47 comments:
Wow, I was expecting you to be taller for some reason E. And whats with the shades? You and Tad forming a Blues Brothers reunion cover band or something?
Stop showing off. Everyone knows that's a junior sized ball you're palming. At the very least, you should have shown your Gugliotta-like barbed wire tat.
Not shown on camera is Eboy's wife with her hands to her face wondering what she did to deserve this.
That poor woman.
I'm six foot, B. I'm burdened with beauty instead.
I'm showcasing the t-shirt design, Bodie. I know you must be blinded by someone with hair on the dome instead of 5 o'clock shadow. Oh, and that's a fully inflated (don't try me Alan)NBA ball, I have big hands, something in common with Mike, not like a certain Bean!
And yes, AR, my wife was like "you guys are so dumb with your blogging" while taking the pic. You were very astute with your assumption.
Oh, and check the shoes, Jordan 13's/playoff models, still minty fresh. Don't play with me on my shoe game.
12's instead.
And B, when you're as cool as me and TAD, you have to wear shaded just to get through life!
I immediately noticed the shoes.Good shit.
I can also palm a ball and I'm about two inches shorter than you...so make of that what you will.
I sense a new Facebook profile pic...
Whoah . . . all this "(blank) revealed" stuff is weird. I'm just saying right now that I ain't showing nobody a picture of me.
And the ball palming is kinda overrated guys, y'all know how old I am and I can palm a regulation ball.
Oh, and to all you guys who haven't figured it out yet: I am disappointed by the comments on my T'Wolves/Celtics previews for Bachi, so get over there, read em and comment. Just a request . . .
Oh, Moose, you little fucker.....it's for photographic purposes only.....anyways, it's not what you do with the ball in your hands, it's what the ball does when it leaves them. Remember that.
hahaha eboy. Good advice too.
Good point, Eboy. Thanks for the words. :)
I KNEW that Eboy's real identity was AJ from the Backstreet Boys.
Upstaged. I'm a bit disappointed Lil E didn't make the cut. I can see you thought the pic thru, with the ball and all. Mine was spur-of-the-moment after like 2 drinks and about to head out from my boys crib.
And Tariq got you pinned perfect. "Bye, Bye, Bye".....
Lance Bass lookin boy.
BET, if you look as good as me at 38, I'll give you a cookie. That's what, 25 years from now?
More like 22 Eboy. @BET- one week away right? (or very close to it).
Q T!
Eboy, do I get a cookie in 25 years too? Hope so, prepare to bake, my man . . . or you can just take out your wallet and give me some Benjamins, too.
Damn, love from Cheryl for you and not me. I'm crushed....
That ain't no surprise, I'm Lebron, your Kobe.
Those are fighting words.....
You're going to have to force your love to get some love!! :)
Oh, I'm sorry boo. Check out your post. I gotta lotta love to go around! :-)
Hey y'all, peep Hibachi and read the new Orlando Magic preview I just wrote . . .
I didn't want to throw anybody under the bus on Slamonline but I honestly wasn't asked to write the Mavs preview until Friday night, E.
I believe you, B, but I did ask you about it a few weeks ago, so maybe I had intuition about it.
Maybe we should get you a hotline with a phony Jamaican accent! I'll be honest it wasn't my best work but I had a family emergency that required me to bail someone out of jail at 1:00 this morning and I literally finished the article at 2. So cut me a little slack.
I thought Eboy was white.
Too bad you didn't live in FLA, B, I could have got him off without a bail hearing or a bail bond.
Nice, E.
Palming a ball depends on the ball and type of hand you have. Some balls are easier to palm for some people. While some dudes like the Doctor could palm anything round.
I guess I always hoped one of you guys was the dude in the front picture. AR?
GO Broncos.
Cub, to be clear, I just did it for the photo, you know, because we love basketball and all.... I didn't pose in a pumpkin patch or throw on a sheet with eyes cut out like Charlie Brown at Halloween. I don't walk around in my everyday life through Wal-Marts or Targets or at the mall palming a ball for the world to see. Secondly, besides that highly limited, unimpressive "skill", I also hate dudes that sit and spin a ball on their finger thinking that shit's amazing. Someone like AR would make that an Olympic event for Ireland, but kill that shit for anyone that thinks that's cool.
Cub brought up a good point: I do need to get one of those "Shawn Kemp Is My Father" shirts.
That's looks like a mall made one, TAD.
You guys are funny. Still, you need another 20 comments to reach your all-time high in posts...
Just for the record,I can't spin the ball on my finger and never intend on trying to.Eboy,you have the quite the low opinion of me.
" Eboy said...
BET, if you look as good as me at 38, I'll give you a cookie. That's what, 25 years from now?
October 18, 2008 7:37 PM"
Eboy, if you were as good lookin as me 25 years ago, your guardian angle deserves a cookie.
Eboy's guardian angle = 46.3 degrees.
Totally missed the 98 degrees reference, Tariq. Not surprising.
where is ny tribute piece, ho
I thought it's tomorrow, homegirl?
its today. October 26th, on the good lord's sunday.
Soooo. where can I cop one of those shirts??
Wizznut.com.......just click the link. :)
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