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Friday, July 25, 2008

Hot InThe Shade (7 Things Keeping Me Going This Offseason)

Posted by Eboy

Well, the doldrums of summer have been kicking my ass since the last game of the NBA Finals came to a close. A hot summer in Florida, a slower than normal work load and nothing on television to keep my interest has lead me to turning my attention to these things to hold onto whatever little sanity I have left. Kill me if you must, but you don't know what your missing!!!!

In no particular order:

1. The Dark Knight

Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone loves the fuck out of this movie and this isn't a review. Let's just put it like this, as a lifelong comic fan and a purveyor of all things good in previous Batman incarnations, this Joker-led story is what Batman fans of all ages have been waiting on. Heath Ledger was ridiculously good and brought the most complex comic villain to life in such a way that no one EVER will be able to step into those purple and green shoes again. Also, to echo others comments, Maggie Gylenhall does get the repeat beat from the ugly stick without even trying. Two viewings of this film has confirmed that as well as the fact that the story is so solid, costumed hero and villains needn't have been included to make this a fantastic story of crime and heroism. Chris Nolan is that good. And not to be petty, but for my money, Iron Man was way more digestible after several viewings due to it's humor and lack of "morality" issues. In no way is it a better film, just better for getting through a afternoon at home after repeated views of my kid's burned copy. Still, this is a masterpiece.

Lebronze no more!

2. USA Olympic Basketball

Call me an All-American apologist, but I'm not sweating the USA's chances in this upcoming Olympics. There's an air about this squad that wasn't there in 2004. Revenge and talent are going to be two nasty bitches to overcome not seen since the days of Octopussy and Lara Croft. Let's put it like this......even I will be behind Kobe Bryant for the next month. The summer Olympic games are usually a borefest but the promise of a fantastic basketball tournament is going to make my August bearable. Gold is the only color that matters!

3. Fire Rock Pizza-West Palm Beach, FL

Look, for a Jersey guinea like me, great pizza is a cornerstone of my existence. Having had great pizza at my fingertips before I left Jersey for Florida on a everyday basis, spoiled is not the word I would use. Overindulged would be better. Now, after almost 20 years of Florida living, there is FINALLY a fantastic pizza place that serves it up with straight ahead greatness in a beautiful location to boot (no pun intended). Going into it's second year, Fire Rock is the favorite spot for my wife, son and I for a great pie, fantastic ribeye steak bits, fried calamari, and excellent chicken wings. The rest of their menu is solid too. If you ever come through the Palm Beach area, make this a place to go. Located right across the road from the Intracoastal Waterway, it's a perfect place for a date, an informal business meeting or a night out with friends and family seated right in the middle of the booming West Palm beach downtown area. (BTW, they need to give me a free meal for the endorsement)

4. Nintendo Wii Fit

Here's something I never thought I would get behind. I have mad love for my Wii (that's funny!) but the idea of sitting in front of my tv "exercising" just didn't seem like a possibility worth investigating. My wife, who also loves my Wii, (OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) bugged me to look for one for her since one of her co-wokers got it and helped her to tone up, lose a few pounds, etc. So I looked. And kept looking and could not find one for the last couple of months. Ebay prices were ridiculous, on-line outlets were sold out and every place I went, the salespeople just looked at me oddly. Finally, earlier this week, a buddy of mine was in a local mall and stopped in an EB games, saw some being put out and picked one up for me. For a couple of days now, both my wife and I have worked it out and you know what? It's actually pretty efficient. No, you're not going to get ripped from it, no you won't make life changing weight loss efforts with it, but for a fun light workout, in the privacy of your own home, it's definitely another creative step in the Nintendo universe that all the other game manufacturers need to find a response to.

This pic was for Tariq.

5. Miami Dolphins football

Miami sports have been pretty horrid for the last couple of seasons. Since D-Wade and Shaquille O'Neal MC'd the championship parade down Biscayne Boulevard, the sports scene here has taken a downward spiral rivaling that of the American dollar.
Leave it to an old school geniuse to get things back on track and the futures of these the franchise seem WAY more solid then it did just a season ago. With Bill Parcells running things, the Dolphins fortunes are capable of being cemented with a championship pedigree and the promise of strict discipline (something they have needed)to begin solidifying their position of relevant NFL franchise again. No, they won't be hoisting a Super Bowl trophy this season, but it's exciting to think that the ability to have a team capable of it isn't too far away. Ridding long time mainstays Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor show the commitment to change and give the other players on the roster the fuel to move at a heightened rate because no is safe if they are underachieving. Gotta love old school initiative.

6. Predator and Rocky III

Guilty pleasures? Yes. Iconic movies from the 80's? Yes. Two cheesy, poorly acted films? Absolutely. But after picking them both up in a 2 for $10 bin at Wal-Mart, seeing them again, without commercial interruption, just shows how entertaining both of them were and still are. Rocky III's best feature to me was the appearance of B.A Barac.....I mean Clubber Lange, a villain in the mold of Mike Tyson (or would that be the other way around?). Full of piss and vinegar and classic lines like "UUUUHNNNNNN" and "HEY FOOL", Rocky never stood a chance. Sure he won in the end but without the Eye Of The Tiger and an injection of soul from Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang should have worn that imaginary title for a long, long time.

And speaking of not standing a chance, only Governator Arnold could overcome a futuristic alien hunter with incredible technology and unstoppable weaponry. Great characterizations, a decent story and fairly ahead of it's time special effects made this a must-see for any fan of action-adventure/sci-fi movies. The Predator became an iconic anti-villain and Arnold continued cementing his legacy as the premier silver screen hero of the time. Need to kill a couple of hours this summer? Push and play either of them.

7. DC Comics-Watchmen graphic novel

If I can just hit back at the #1 entry on my list, if you were there early enough to catch the hour and half long previews to The Dark Knight, you may have noticed a trailer for a movie called The Watchmen. Accompanying it was a Smashing Pumpkins song, superhero imagery and some destructive frames which foreshadow the storyline. Let me give you a bit of advice. Run don't walk, RUN to track down a copy of this mid 80's graphic novel. It's available in reprinted form and will be in high demand as 2009 approach's. It is widely considered the greatest piece of comic book storytelling and one of the most complex tales written in that genre. From my experience, it is one of the most entertaining and highly evolved reads, in comic form or not, I've ever put eye to word to. Don't be one of those people who when the movie hits says "I never read the comic" like it was beneath you and act all dumb and highstrung. Read it. Trust me. It will not be what you expect. Plus it's a long read, so you can kill a lot of time once you get going. As the tag line of the book goes "Who watches The Watchmen?" Hopefully anyone that reads this will be one of them.

Enjoy the rest of your summer and keep the heat to a simmer.



TADOne said...

You know what? I just had a conversation last night about that Watchmen movie preview because I wasn't sure exactly what it was. I guess I need to peep that book out because the previews looked pretty awesome.

Great stuff, E.

Eboy said...

Thanks man. I'm over my lazyiness and ready to deal with this crappy summer with words. Don't pass the book by. If it doesn't grab you by the second chapter, I'll send you a check for the cost of it.

TADOne said...

Hell, if it's graphic, i'll probably be intrigued by the second page.

Eboy said...

Oh yeah... I've read Watchmen probably 6 or 7 times over the last 20 years. Each time it got better. And if you want a fantastic Batman/Joker story to read, try something called The Killing Joke. It is the quintessental stand alone story of those two legendary characters. Yes, my inner comic nerd is coming out, but I'm not ashmed. Besides my son thinks I'm the coolest having all these old comics in his closet.

Eboy said...

There's a rape scene within the first 30 pages or so, it doesn't get much more graphic than that, I'm pretty sure.

TADOne said...


Hursty said...

that girl is fine....! her face could do with some work though ( just a little). I didnt read the work- I liked the pictures though.

Hursty said...

Eboy if you click on the picture of the dolphin girl you will notice that she has a back tattoo. Then the picture has a watermark on it 'We Live mmm... sounds kinda fishy. Google the site and.... it turns out she is a lesbian porn star. Whether that was intentional or not its pretty funny.

Eboy said...

I actually missed that, Hursty. I just pull pics from Google images and paste them. She'd be a nice catch on a dating site though, no? :)

Hursty said...

catch on a dating site? hell yeh! was that a pun thingy on the dolphins? :)

Hursty said...

btw watchman got me thinking, If the dude can move from room to room why doesnt just take all the coomunists out of Afghanistan in the Soviet area? He should totally steal a young Pamela Anderson if he can remove objects and such, comics are fu*ked up like that though, hence why I read Robert Jordan. Look dude up.

BETCATS said...!!! I got that white gurl, christina aguilara!

DP said...

man, I could see myself with that dolphin girl in a bathroom in about five minutes! My dad freakin loves Arnold and he was watching predator yesterday when I left his house. But an old movie I really enjoy, Beverly Hills Cop! Eddie Murphy was hella funny in that movie.

Eboy said...

Beverley Hills Cop is great, DP! Although, I love Eddie's other 90's cop movie, 48 Hours, 10x's more.

Hursty said...

I dunno E BHC is pretty good. So are you into the new A vs. P and requiem stuff or you keeping it old skool?... can someone from this team comment on my latest piece? Its lacking comments and it makes my heart hurt so bad :(

Eboy said...

I'm staying old school, Hursty. BTW, I commented on your piece, my other teammates are on summer vacation apparently.

Hursty said...

I see you and raise 1 comment!

Tariq al Hayder said...


That Dolphin girl makes me want to hold communion with nature. Dang.

Hursty said...

word Tariq. But no homo.

B. Long said...

Great post, Eboy. I, too, am a comic book nerd and can't wait to see the Watchmen. Last summer I went to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico for a Conf. and I got to see where they actually filmed the first Predator. What is your opinion of the Alien vs. Predator movies?

Eboy said...

I don't know, B, the premise of the Alien/Predator movies is so capable of being classic sci fi and I don't think they got it right in wither one of them. Although the second was much more concise than the first. If it took a similar tone to the Alien movie's instead of a scifi Freddy vs. Jason, then it could be on point. BTW, I knew I liked you for some reason.

Anonymous said...

Hello! fantastic idea, but will this really work?