I love you, Kevin Garnett. You too, Paul Pierce. Sorry, but your pictures will NOT be on this cover.
And I'm so sure of this, that I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is:
Yo Eboy, if the Lakers DON'T win, I'll send you this DVD. But if they DO win, you let me send it to you anyway.
What do you say?
Welcome
Over the course of human history, greatness has melded together at one time or another, creating fused unity that can sometimes be history changing. Bonnie & Clyde, The Beatles, Marvin & Tammy, Earth, Wind & Fire, Michael & Scottie, Biggie & Tupac, Shaq & Kobe, Paris & Nicole! Now, the 21st century welcomes the next great movement to rewrite the history books and change the rules. It's us, ya'll. Ain't no stoppin' us now.
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
TADOne, or just plain TAD, is quite possibly the most sane member of this blog group, although, that is not saying much. My sarcasm, or just plain lack of empathy, has been known to reach epic levels of true disdain. Because of this, I have a love of binge drinking and mindless humor. Therapy is good.
Tariq
I am a sensitive, delicate soul. I use sarcasm and cynicism as self-defense mechanisms, douchebag. I do this to protect my faberge-egg-like psyche. If only I could increase my self-confidence, maybe then I could achieve a moment of sincerity. But I can't. So instead I have to be content with writing sublime pieces which delve into the realms of basketball, football (American), football (real), literature, religion, The Legend of Zelda and Reese's Pieces. I may even occassionally shed some insight into the complexities of the human condition. No promises, though.
My turn-ons are non-smokers and world peace. My turn-offs include crystal meth and springtime.
AR
You may (though most likely don't) know me as commenter H to the izzo from SLAMonline.I will no longer answer to that moniker-ever.I'm retiring only to return again,but this won't be no Linkin Park collaboration.My list of lifetime achievements include being the second most foreign member.The youngest member,the least educated member.I roughly rank as the 3rd most white member and am three time Vodka chugging champion in my district.I intend to prove that basketball opinion and having little else better to do are a dangerous mix.I am usually wrong and am possessed by the ghost of Charles Oakley's right fist.
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30 comments:
I can only think this is some kind of a setup for camel porn.
Take the bet. I guess. I'm just curious to see where it goes.
It doesn't seem like much of a bet. Even if the Lakers were to win, I'd have to come up with something as a prize for Tariq, so right now it's a non-existent entity.
Hey Eboy,
I don't a prize or anything. I think you don't understand the bet:
The bet is this:
If you accept, I'm going to send you the DVD, REGARDLESS of who wins. You follow? Like I'll send you the DVD either way. I know this sounds crazy, like: "What? Why would he just send me a DVD? What's in it for him?"
It's simple, really: It will give me great pleasure to know that you OWN the Lakers Championship DVD. And since it will be a gift from me, you can't just throw it away. You don't have to actually watch it if you don't want, but you have to keep it somewhere: your house, your office....something. Get it?
P.S.
If you wanted camel porn, all you had to do was ask. I've got about 37 blank DVDs on which I've recorded many unspeakable and unnatural acts!
Actually, I'd PREFER if you watched it, but if that's a deal-breaker, I'm flexible!
I get the bet, T. I don't know why you wouldn't have pick a better representation of Kobe's career to try and torture me with though.
Eboy:
Was that English? Dang man, are you SHOOK? I guess you're too nervous to accept my bet. Didn't realize you had so much faith in Kobe. Ha!
Eboy has SO MUCH FAITH that Kobe Bryant could accomplish something that JORDAN NEVER DID, that he can't even take a bet in which he has nothing to lose!
Ha!
Guess you're a closet Kobe fan, E! Never thought you were one! I actually thought you were kind of a dick at one point, before I realized what a sweetheart you are!
Lakers in 7, Bet or no bet. Lord-willin'.
I'll give you one last chance to reclaim your manhood, Eboy:
Whaddya say?
;)
June's in Saudi Arabia must be REALLY boring! I don't get the acceptance/non acceptance angle. You are supposedly sending me a copy of the DVD regardless, so where is the bet?
Actually here's a twist on the manhood bet. If the Lakers come back and win, I'll write a 2000 word Kobe appreciation post for our blog. If the Celtics close out, you retire permanantly from posting on the SLAM site. No posting under other screen names, no one off jump ins now and again. Straight shut down. No looking back in anger. What do you say?
Well, listen: I accept ANY bet you want, as long as it's one-sided. Understand? You could say that it's just a weird religious thing, I guess, but I can't actually make a bet where I WIN something. Understand?
So I accept your bet, but with a minor alteration. You have to choose one of the following:
EITHER:
A-
If the Lakers win, you write a Kobe appreciation piece, but if the Celtics win, I do nothing.
OR
B-
If the Celtics win, I retire forever from the SLAM site, but if the Lakers win, YOU do nothing.
Pick A or B, and I accept automatically. You don't even have to run it by me again, just say: "I'll take A" or "I'll take B" and it will come into effect.
You're up, Eboy!
P.S.
If you pick B, my retirement this time will be REAL, not like the time I got my panties in a bunch because Russ yelled at us.
This has.............taken a turn.
This bet is not even worth it. I like Tariq's ramblings much to much to miss them over two teams I could care less if their planes when down in flames.
Eboy, get ready for competition. play wit it.
Eboy:
I can't believe how scared you are!! You are SHOOK!!
I thought maybe you'd choose option B, but if you "like my ramblings so much" (like I know you do) then give me the same pleasure! Allow ME to enjoy YOUR ramblings. Conveniently, all that you have to do to accomplish that is CHOOSE YOUR OWN OPTION: OPTION A. By doing this, you will accomplish the following:
1- Shut me up.
2- Defend your manhood, by accepting my challenge.
3- Find an outlet for your secret Kobe love!
And you know what, I'll bet you can find a lot of things to write about Kobe: Write about how ugly his wife's tutu is. Or about how funny it was when he told Stephen A. Smith "I FIGURED IT OUT, BUDDY!". Or about how he's going to end up being BETTER than Jordan. Or about how he DIDN'T rape her. Hell, write about how you're at least happy for Holly. Haven't you been going on and on about how you "only have sympathy for Holly". Write about that, I really don't care. Hell, write about how pretty he looks in his those home whites for all I care!
But dang, man! Just stop being a pussy and man up! Do you BELIEVE IN KOBE BRYANT SO MUCH that you can't accept this bet? Is that it? Is it because you KNOW he won't be denied? That's it, isn't it? You won't believe that this is actually happening until you see that shitbag ray allen hoisting the MVP trophy above his head. That's it, isn't it? HAHAHAHA. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that will NEVER happen, Lord-willin'! Lord-willin' like the Clipse!
I'll tell you what, cutie pie, you've showed your hand, buddy boy! I didn't even notice it before, but it's SO OBVIOUS now! Eboy is a CLOSET KOBE-LOVER! HAHAHAHA That is SO funny to me! You can't understand it!
Am I wrong? You KNOW I'm right, right?
Prove it. Prove to me I'm wrong. I dare you. I double dare you: Prove it, Eboy.
I hope all the e-others join me in a spirited chant:
PROVE-IT, E-BOY! PROVE-IT, E-BOY!
Come on, DP. Come on Alan, Tim: Everybody, ALL TOGETHER NOW:
PROVE-IT, E-BOY! PROVE-IT, E-BOY!
I guess you're between a rock and a hard place now, Cliff!
Think about, everybody: EBOY is the one who suggested the Kobe appreciation piece, not me. Did I say ANYTHING about a Kobe appreciation piece? No. But it's just that he WANTS to write one, subconciously. Because he REMINDS him so much of his favorite player. Like, it's UNCANNY how much Kobe is like Jordan. It's like they're the SAME PLAYER! And Eboy HATES that! But he also LOVES that!
Awwwww Eboy!
Come on, EBOY,
would you like me to tell you that I don't really believe that the Lakers will win? Maybe I'm bluffing, right?
Call my bluff, punk.
;)
I'm glad I spent my Father's Day away from the computer.
Yeah, The Eboy Challenge was all in good fun, anyway, Eboy. I still love you, man!
It's just that you didn't know I had a little ace up my sleeve, but the ace is really a joker, and his name is little ray ray, aka judas shuttlesworth.
I'm sure this is making you yawn!
And I'm surprised nobody is joining in on the fun. Well, not SURPRISED, but...I guess I wish you would.
What happened to the Ray Hate piece?
What Ray Hate piece?
Who are you, anonymous?
Hey anonymous,
Could you please tell us your real name? We're all friends here. If you are a good person, then I have all the love in the world for you. Do you love me?
hey anonymous,
you know who I love?
I hope I'm not forgetting anyone, but I love:
Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Eddie House, Rajon Rondo, PJ Brown (a lot), Leon Powe, Brian Scalabrine, Derek Fisher, Jordan Farmar, Phil Jackson, SASHA VUJACIC! (THE MACHINE), Kendrick Perkins, James Posey, Jack Nicholson and Oprah Winfrey.
And I REALLY love Doc Rivers.
Do you love all these people like I love them, anonymous?
P.S.
On a totally unrelated note: Kobe Bryant is a VERY handsome man, in my estimation.
hey anonymous,
thank God. I thank Him for you. you are such a blessing to me. i love Him for sending you to me, because you are the FIRST anonymous commenter on these boards. I KNOW all the other people here. So thank God for sending you as a blessing. you truly are a blessing.
I LOVE HIM for sending you to me.
Think of it this way, anonymous:
you and I will ALWAYS be connected. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER. And that makes me SOOOOOOOOO happy! yay!
I love my blessing!
do you love blessings as much as I do, anonymous? I'd like to call you by your real name. Maybe we can be friends? I don't know, but somehow I feel like we've "connected", if that makes sense to you. I LOVE that. I LOVE connecting with people?
Do you love connecting with people, anonymous?
P.S.
I hope you don't mind my calling you "anonymous". I worry that that may hurt you in some way, as if the concealment of your identity actually brings you PAIN. but remember that I LOVE "anonymous", whoever the hell he is.
anonymous:
to answer your question, blogspot removed the post. Maybe they were right to do that? I don't really know (hahaha).
But see, I think it's because I may have gone overboard with the ray allen hate. It's just that i'm disappointed in him. I've never really liked him or really hated him. I was VERY indifferent to him. But maybe that's because, as a casual fan, I never got to see him in the playoffs much. That being said, I ALWAYS loved his J. I once saw him sink a J when he was with the Seattle Supersonics (the Sonics have moved to Oklahoma, I think? Is Oklahoma NORTH or SOUTH of Seattle? Ironic, I'm ususally very good with geography! LOL. But I digress). That J was against the Sacramento Kings, during one of the few times I saw ray in the playoffs. And I LOVED the way his shot was released! So I kinda wanted him to go to a good team so he could win a ring. It's not like I was DYING for him to win a ring, but, because I'm generally happy-go-lucky guy, I LIKE people to be blessed. But I mean, it's not like he's Allen Iverson or Kevin Garnett (my two favorite players). Or Baron Davis or Josh Smith or Amare. those were the players I really liked. (I also like Drew Gooden's Beard, hahahaha).
So I thought I'd HELP ray ray win a ring by using my anger as a motivational tool. I hope my anger doesn't have anything to do with ray ray's problem. Do you think it does? Because you know we're ALL connected, anonymous, and sometimes the negative energy you send out HURTS OTHER PEOPLE, even if you don't care. But I care, and I would HATE to think that I was hurting someone who didn't ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DESERVED IT. So that's why I offered to write an apology.
But what a coincidence, right? I mean, I write my article BEFORE the game, and then during the game he FOULS OUT AND THEN REFUSES TO TALK TO THE MEDIA BECAUSE OF A PERSONAL PROBLEM HE HAS. Wow. Talk about coincidences. I hope MY PIECE didn't do that, because that would make me VERY GUILTY.
...you have gone off the deep end. I will check back periodically for your breaking story on the terrible person that is Ray Allen.
Tariq, I was going to ask about the 2 removed posts but thats been resolved apparently.
BTW...... for the fellas at S.K.O..... Get ready for the revolution of hype, hoops.... and HIBACHI 2.0!
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