By Tariq al Hayder
Boston Celtics (1) vs. Atlanta Hawks (8)
This is a team of destiny. This is the year a once-proud franchise returns to the Promised Land. What seems like eons upon eras upon overlapping eternities have passed since the last time this storied franchise has flourished. Yes, this is the year the Atlanta Hawks return to the Playoffs.
What? You thought I was talking about the Celtics winning a championship? Please.
The fact is that the Hawks have already won their championship. Nobody in Atlanta cares that they made the Playoffs despite enduring a losing season, or that they enter the postseason on a three-game losing streak. There's too much joy (relief?): The Hawks are finally, really and truly "Playoff-bound."
So where do they go from here? Is there any way they can beat the best team in basketball? Could they pull off the biggest upset in basketball history? Is it conceivable, that if EVERYTHING goes their way…maybe, just maybe…could they beat the Celtics?
Answer: No.
Cinderella dies here. Hell, the skank should be glad she got this far. Midnight is upon us, and the coachman is turning back into a big, fat, rabies-infected rat. In fact, the only question is this: can the Hawks win a single game? Well…Boston beat them in all three of their regular-season meetings by double digits. But hey, I'm a romantic. I'm happy that Josh Smith is playing in Game 83. So what the hell, maybe they can steal one game through sheer emotion.
And as for Boston, they won’t even break a sweat until they meet the winner of the LeBron-Wizards series. They don't need KG, Jesus and the Truth to beat Atlanta. It's practically beneath them. Gollum will simply carry his imaginary oversized scrotum straight into the second round.
Prediction: Boston in five (sic).
Welcome
"We, the elite Linkstigators, have formed like Voltron, We could have used our powers for evil. It was quite tempting, actually. But instead, we have decided to bless the internets with the most slammin' blog (no pun intended). A blog which is dedicated mainly to the game of basketball, but also to diverse topics such as Mountain Dew Code Red, Democratic primaries, Guitar Hero 3 and post-structuralism. We are sponsored by Nabisco."
The Players
Cheryl
Cheryl will offer “A Sistah’s Point of View” (ASPOV) to this madness, because as you will read over the next few months, it will be needed. I see connections, like Haley Joel Osment sees dead people. Connections between modern sports, culture, politics, race and racialization, art and dance, religion and myth. I will try to point these out without being too esoteric or dogmatic (but if I am, sue me). But what you can always expect is that I will be open, honest, and often catty. (That was an awfully un-feminist thing to say, huh?)”
Eboy
White Hot Eboy, or just plain E, is a polarizing figure. On the SLAM site, the place of his e-origin, Eboy seems to move between love for his regular foils to sheer unbridled hate for his detractors. Here in this blogventure, look for Eboy to speak on basketball in all forms, movies, tv, politics, sports in general and anything else that he can throw his opinion at. Besides, he's legally obligated to be truthful and forthright, so stay ready, an E-storm is brewing.
TADOne
TADOne, or just plain TAD, is quite possibly the most sane member of this blog group, although, that is not saying much. My sarcasm, or just plain lack of empathy, has been known to reach epic levels of true disdain. Because of this, I have a love of binge drinking and mindless humor. Therapy is good.
Tariq
I am a sensitive, delicate soul. I use sarcasm and cynicism as self-defense mechanisms, douchebag. I do this to protect my faberge-egg-like psyche. If only I could increase my self-confidence, maybe then I could achieve a moment of sincerity. But I can't. So instead I have to be content with writing sublime pieces which delve into the realms of basketball, football (American), football (real), literature, religion, The Legend of Zelda and Reese's Pieces. I may even occassionally shed some insight into the complexities of the human condition. No promises, though.
My turn-ons are non-smokers and world peace. My turn-offs include crystal meth and springtime.
AR
You may (though most likely don't) know me as commenter H to the izzo from SLAMonline.I will no longer answer to that moniker-ever.I'm retiring only to return again,but this won't be no Linkin Park collaboration.My list of lifetime achievements include being the second most foreign member.The youngest member,the least educated member.I roughly rank as the 3rd most white member and am three time Vodka chugging champion in my district.I intend to prove that basketball opinion and having little else better to do are a dangerous mix.I am usually wrong and am possessed by the ghost of Charles Oakley's right fist.
2 comments:
The choice of photos is fantastic!
that pic is fucking sad you muthere fucker i hope the same thing happins to you
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