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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Celtics/Hawks Preview: Gang Green

Posted by TADOne

By Tariq al Hayder

Boston Celtics (1) vs. Atlanta Hawks (8)

This is a team of destiny. This is the year a once-proud franchise returns to the Promised Land. What seems like eons upon eras upon overlapping eternities have passed since the last time this storied franchise has flourished. Yes, this is the year the Atlanta Hawks return to the Playoffs.

What? You thought I was talking about the Celtics winning a championship? Please.

The fact is that the Hawks have already won their championship. Nobody in Atlanta cares that they made the Playoffs despite enduring a losing season, or that they enter the postseason on a three-game losing streak. There's too much joy (relief?): The Hawks are finally, really and truly "Playoff-bound."

So where do they go from here? Is there any way they can beat the best team in basketball? Could they pull off the biggest upset in basketball history? Is it conceivable, that if EVERYTHING goes their way…maybe, just maybe…could they beat the Celtics?

Answer: No.

Cinderella dies here. Hell, the skank should be glad she got this far. Midnight is upon us, and the coachman is turning back into a big, fat, rabies-infected rat. In fact, the only question is this: can the Hawks win a single game? Well…Boston beat them in all three of their regular-season meetings by double digits. But hey, I'm a romantic. I'm happy that Josh Smith is playing in Game 83. So what the hell, maybe they can steal one game through sheer emotion.

And as for Boston, they won’t even break a sweat until they meet the winner of the LeBron-Wizards series. They don't need KG, Jesus and the Truth to beat Atlanta. It's practically beneath them. Gollum will simply carry his imaginary oversized scrotum straight into the second round.

Prediction: Boston in five (sic).


Eboy said...

The choice of photos is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

that pic is fucking sad you muthere fucker i hope the same thing happins to you